Behind the scenes
by Silent Deathbringer
Summary: finally up chapter four
1. Rules

I don't own orgy XIII, because if I did i'd be rollin in cash right now. Well, you'll be going on a tour today, a tour of dun, dun, dun Castle Oblivion; of course the organization has no clue were here so try not to die.

So, this is the second fic i've written and the first Kingdom Hearts, so please R&R now on with the show, fic what ever just read please.

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"Right this way folks," yelled the tour guide, "Ok all of you get over here and listen, we have a few rules to cover before going inside" people then started to come forward for fear of the wrath of Kairi, the tour guide.

"Ok," Kairi began " As I said before there are ah few rules, so look at the papers I passed out and follow along as I read aloud."

1. No flash photograph, and if you do it any way may you be castrated by Saix.

2. Don't go into any rooms, because you may die for interrupting yaoi action.

3. Don't stare Larxene in the eye, she takes it as a challenge.

4. If you are attractive male, keep away from Xigbar or risk being his sex toy, and or arm candy.

5. If any one asks you if you want to have sex with them, say nothing just walk away unless you're a virgin, and then only agree if it's Saix.

6. Girls, don't go any where near Xaldin, since an incident at Beast's castle he attacks every girl except my self and Larxene (only because she'd electrify him) so keep away.

7. Last, but not least, don't pet any nobodies except the lord of cuteness DEMY.

"So any questions, yes you sexy boy in black and red."

"First, my names Alexander Sterling not sexy boy, and my question is can we start the tour already?"

"Yes, we will start now, onward to the castle"

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First chp up tell me what you think please no flames but constructive criticism is appreciated.


	2. First stop XIII

I don't own orgy xiii or kingdom hearts or the song the song in this chp later R&R at the end please i'm begging you.

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"All right people," Kairi shouted "let's go single file we have lots of space to cover."

"Scusi," a little boy said "my name is Scipio, and I was wondering if we get to go in any of the rooms?"

"Why yes we will, but not alone."

"Why?"

"Because, some one might rape- uhh I mean eat you."

"Oh ok lady."

"Excuse me," Kairi said "hello, people huu LISTEN UP YOU IDIOTS." They all turned immediately, lest they be stabbed to death.

"Thank you, now are first stop will be number XIII's room, and as most of us know he is an angsty teen, so lets try to be discreet, if we are caught, run as if Marluxia was trying to put his hand down your pants. Now let's go. KHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKH

"Now every one stay quiet, oh and it's alright to take pictures just turn off the flash, got it?" nods from every one "good." Kairi put her hand up, signaling them to stop she put her ear up to the door, she listened but didn't here any springs moving, moaning, or screaming so, she figured it was safe. She then waved every one over, and they quietly crept into the room. When they got inside they looked around, but couldn't see Roxas any where, that's when they heard the music coming from the bathroom in the corner, they all went up to door, Kairi in the lead they opened the door a crack, and they heard.

Sweet little bumble bee

I know what you want from me

Dup-di-dup-i duh-dah-dah

Dup-di-dup-i duh-dah-dah

They all stared at each other for a second, then they looked at Kairi who shrugged her shoulders, and opened the door all the way. There they saw one of the most horrific sights ever, Roxas bent over the bath tub, shaving his legs, while singing the bumble bee song.

Sweet little bumble bee more then just a fantasy

Dup-di-dup-i duh-dah-dah

Dup-di-dup-i duh-dah-dah

All at once cameras and cell phones were brought out, all trying there hardest to capture this moment for eternity. But of course, there's always that one person who doesn't listen to the rules. In this case, it was an adult who should know to follow the rules, but he obviously didn't follow them because he took a picture, and you know what happened? That dumb ass's camera let off ah flash so bright, that it killed the mouse that was sitting the corner, laughing it's furry ass off.

Every thing was still, silent, and pretty much every one was staring at Roxas, who had turned around to see what was up.

Then he let out an ear drum shattering "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU BASTARDS DOING IN MY ROOM?!!!" He then summoned Oathkeeper and Oblivion.

As if Marluxia tried to put his hands down their pants, they ran, ran down so many halls.

They even ran into Vexen's lab, but shortly after they were shot at with ice. Then by "accident" Kairi smacked the ass's of Zexion, Axel, Saix, and even Xaldin when they had to run by them to get away from the angsty teenager ( A/N yes he was still chasing them amazing isn't it) they turned down a few more hall ways when he finally gave up the chase.

"Well, wasn't that fun?" Kairi said/wheezed, groans answered her question, then every one turned to glare at the idiot who forgot to turn the flash off.

"Sorry" he squeaked.

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Well who ever you are than you so much for reading chp 2 and thank you

Coolgirl200 for adding this to your favs


	3. Larxene! OH SNAP

All right chapter three thank you to all who have reviewed thee other chapters.

Oh and I don't own Kingdom Hearts DX but I wish I did.

This chp is dedicated and inspired by Samuraistar, ok lets get this party started.

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"Ok, I think we lost him," Kairi huffed. "Now you dumbass, who didn't turn off the flash, if it happens again I'll throw you to Saix got it?" Kairi said in her evil voice.

"Y-yes mam" he stuttered he stuttered.

"And don't call me mam, it makes me feel old."

"Um ok."

"Good, now we will be going around to Larxene's territory, as I have said she is constantly PMSing, so proceed with caution, and remember Larxene is the queen of PMS….. and Marluxia is her king lets go," and so they set off, but little did they know someone was watching them with an evil gleam in their eye.

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"What are you doing here?" came the deathly erie not so asking question of bum bum BUUMM The Queen of PMS.

"Remember don't look her, in thee eye," everyone just stood there quietly, waiting for something to happen. That is until cameraflash man being that dumbass that he is sneezed. He shook his head around a few times, and looked up staring face to face, retard to ferocious beast with Larxene.(A/N can you imagine that fear that image fear it)

"I-I um" the man started to stutter.

"What, you got a speach impediment or somthin, well then maybe this will help you a little bit," with that Larxene picked the man up, and threw him against the white wlls of Castle Oblivion. "That should teach that pathetic human, some manners." Larxene turned back to the tour group, well lets get this party started. With that Larxene sent a wave of lightning into the crowd. Kairi ran up to Larxene summing her Radiant Flower keyblade, she swung it Larxene who easy dodged it.

"Well if it isn't the little princess of heart, where's your little boyfriend at," Larxene said in a mocking tone "oh thats right he's at home skrewing Riku, guess you just weren't good enough for him."

"Well I could say the same to you, where's Marluxia hhhmmmm?"

"Leave him out of this you little bitch!" Larxene snarled

"Oh now I remember, he's bending over for Vexen, oh poor Larxene you didn't know Marluxia was a whore now did ya, well now you do."

"DIE YOU LITTLE BBBIIITTTCCCHHH!!!" Larxene screamed and threw a wave of her electrofied kunai at Kairi who, swung her keyblade easaly knocking them out of the way.

"Oh it's on now(que battle music)

Kairi had a lot of fans in the group, all were chanting her name and cheering her on. A few minutes into the fight cameraflash man came back into counsiousness. He slowly got up from the white floors of Castle Oblivion, shook his head a few times, then started walking towards the spectaters.

"So, what I miss?" He asked when he reached them. The fighting stopped and everyone turned their heads to glare at him, then Kairi spoke.

"Larxene would you mind?" Kairi asked.

"Oh not at all, in fact it would be my pleasure," as she finished her sentence, a portal opened up underneath the mans feet, sending him to only to only Larxene and Kingdom Hearts knows where. As it closed they heard a screams come from Marluxia, Vexen and Zexion. A sigh of releaf came from everyone, they were all glad to have him gone hopefully for good.

"Thank Ansem he's gone whered you send him any way?" Kairi asked couriously.

"Trust me you don't want to know."

"So should we get back to the fight now, if I remember correctly I was right in the middle of woopin ya."

"We'll see about that."

"Actually it's game over for you."

"Getting over confident now are we? Well It'll make it that much sweeter when I beat you."

"Give me strength," Kairi said as she summoned the most hideous,disgutingly evil thing on the face of all the worlds. That big huggy and kissy dinosaur that goes by the name of Barney.

"Why hello there boys and girls, hi Kairi golly what can I do for you today?" Barney asked in his signiture happy super fantastic attitude.

"Well you see my friend over the're, is being a grumpy Jazlle and I think she needs a little song to help bring a smile to her face, to you think you could help her? Pretty please with Seasalt icecream on top.

"Who could say no to that? Of course I'll help but I need all of your help to sing this extra stupindous song," Barney said to Kairi and the crowd.

"Oh Kingdom Hearts no,"Larxene moaned "any thing but that," but it was to late the singing had allready begun.

Barney began the count. "And a one, a, two, and a one two three for I love you, you love me were a great big family"

"NNNNNNNOOOOOOOO MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT SSSSSTTTTTOOOOPPPP" Larxene screamed starting to fade away.

"With a great big hug and a kiss from me to you, won't you say you love me too, and that was thee end of the song.

"Why? Why didn't you just stab me in the face with a jagged knife? WWHHHHHHHYYyyy" her screams became more and more distant, until they bacame nonexistant.

"Thanks Barney see you next time, then I'll have even more friends for you to make super happy ok bye now," Kairi said to Barney as he went back to where ever he came from, probably some crazy farm somewhere on the east coast.

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Back on the Destiny Islands "I love you Riku," Sora said as he snuggled closer to Riku's beer chest.

"Love you to," he ansewered back wraping his arms around Sora's waist and kissing him on the neck making him moan a little.

"Hey Riku, I just got this strange feelimg that someone that we know, was talking about us having sex which is kind of weird since we haven't told any one besides kairi and she promised not to tell, and she would never break a promise to us, especialy now that we promised to keep it quiet about her going out with yuffie."

"You know I got that exact same feeling but, lets just drop it and go to sleep ok I'm exausted," as he said this he pulled Sora closer again and nussuled his nose to his neck.  
"Night Sora."

"Good night," Sora said as he planted one last kiss on Riku's lips before drifting off into a peaceful dream filled sleep.

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Alright thats the end of this chp, now if you don't like yaoi It's ok to say so but I don't think theres any thing wrong with it. Now do me a relly REALLY big favor and push the blue button. Your comments are Valued no matter what they say.


	4. Flower Power

Disclaimer: Kairi and all Org XIII members are owned by Square Enix, Alexander Sterling by Ellen Schreiber, and Scipio by Cornelia Funke. And the song belongs to Electric Six.

little side not: I hated to do this but I changed Alexander a little bit.

When we last left off(really sorry it took so long)Kairi had just defeated Larxene with her Barney summon.

samuraistar I am so sorry for not using the correct name for Kairi's Keyblade, well other then that did it meet your standards, or did it completely suck?

IHATELOVEIHATELOVEIHATEIHATELOVEIHATELOVEIHATELOVEIHATELOVEIHATELOVEIHATELOVEIHATELOVEIHATELOVEIHATELOVEIHATELOVE "White, white nothin but white," Alexander began to complain again, "Miss. Kairi are you sure were not lost?"

"Of course I'm sure, what kind of guide would I be if I got lost?"

"Well I was just asking, and besides this is getting boring are we any where _near_ another room?"

"Yes we are, so shut yer trap so I don't get, distracted and pass it on accident," he immediately shut up for fear of being the next to face the wrath of Kairi's Barney summon. "Ok the next room is Marluxia's so we'll stop there to eat, cuz his room is a garden with lots of flowers and pl- " she was cut off by Alexander saying,

"Wait, wait, hold on ah second, you mean she right, plants, flowers it has to be a girl I mean guys don't do that sort of thing, guys do manly things like paint, and hangout at their grandmother's gravesite, you know that kinda thing," while saying all this he didn't notice Marly,(fan girls start cheerin) come up behind him and start to get very pissed off.

"Why you little bastard I'll show you who's manly, and men do garden you little piece of shit, and another thi-"

_I wana take you to ah gaybar _

_I wana take you to ah gaybar _

_Gaybar_

_Gaybar _

_Gaybar_

"Oh sorry could you hold on a minute, I need to take this," said Marluxia reaching into his left pocket, producing a cell phone, "Hey what's up girl, oh no way she did not," he stopped talking for a minute, turned around and sent a death glare Kairi's way, who was to busy playing with a lock of her hair and staring into space to notice.

"Yeah, don't worry Larxene I'll make the little princess pay for what she did to you," and with that he hung up his cell and put it back in his pocket."

"Alright,all of you are coming with me to have lunch in my garden,"said Marluxia with an evil glint in his eyes.

"...Say what now?"

"What are you deaf? I said your all coming with me, and we'll all going to eat lunch in my lovely garden bedroom now stop standing around like idiots and come on."

"Well I guess he really isn't so bad after all," Kairi sad with a hint of doubt in her voice,"Alright everyone lets go and don't be slow,lest you be left to the rath of Saix," So off they went,there was minamal talking which was strange since the group was made up of mostly teenage girls,(A/N sorry to the girls that are reading this, but seriously when ever I go to school all the other girls talk like they have diarea of the mouth, sure I talk fast,but not constantly)who were staring in a dazed fashion at Marluxia's hips,one was even drooling as she watched them sway from side to side.

"Girls please refrain from staring while there is a child presint," Marluxia said fully aware of them piering at him,"But if you like you can have a better look when we can have alittle alone time, if you no what I mean," all the girls started to giggle like litttle school girls who were high on candy.

"Sure we'd really enjoy that," they all said in unison.

"What a bunch of sluts," Kairi thought to her self as she watched everything play out, "I have no idea what he sees in them, at least Larxene was self reliant, not like these girls who need someone to protect them all the time."

"Well here we are my humble abode, please come in,come in, oh Kairi you must come see this flower it's my favorite, well besides my roses of course.

"Um sure, ,it's beautiful I've never seen anything like it before what's it called," Kairi was in complete aw(A/N obviously) of the plant, she didn't see the evil glint in Marluxia's eyes.

"Oh nothing unusual," he began woth a small smirk playing on his lips,"Just a girl eating plant,"(A/N like the one from the first Jimmy Neutron movie)he muttered the last part so she had to turn around and ask

"What was that a didn't quiet here you," she said, not noticing the plant starting to move, and sniff the air around it's self like a preditor searching for it's prey.

"I said it's called a girl EATING plant!" at that moment the plant let out a ferious growl, Kairi turned around and let a scream the plant opened it's mouth and...

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CLIFF HANGER so what do YOU think is going to happen hu well till next time. Flames will be used to light my marshmellows by see ya later.


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